what’s the average lifespan of a chicken? “asking for a
friend dumb throwaway gag”
A campy three camera sitcom in the style of The Mary Tyler Moore Show, but set in the office of the United States Strategic Command headquarters circa 1969.
- Scene opens, General Eastlessland enters the office, carrying a golf bag
- Secretary: Oh General, I have your messages--Dow Chemicals called to say that for every ten tons of Agent Orange you buy, you get one ton free, and they've added it to our most recent order. You also get a free hat!
- General Eastlessland: A hat? Oh boy!
- Secretary: Also I just got off the phone with the Soviets, and they said that if we don't stop flying the nuclear-armed B-52s right up to the border of their airspace, they'll complain to the neighborhood association.
- General Eastlessland: Mondays, am I right?
- Laugh track goes wild as the general takes a long drink from a mug reading "You don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps!"
- Henry Kissinger busts through door, Kramer-style, followed by Secretary of Defense Melvin Laird
- Kissinger: (While making a beeline for the open box of Cheerios in the snack cabinet) We got a problem, Chief.
- General Eastlessland: Hello, Laird.
- Kissinger: The anti-war movement is growing even bigger, the middle class is starting to get involved, and once you've lost the middle class you're **prrrzzpt** sunk.
- General Eastlessland: Secretary! I need you to take a memo:
- Secretary: I would, but one of the boys played a little trick on me again...
- The secretary holds up her typewriter, encased in a Jell-O mold as the laugh track goes nuts and a 10-second reprise of the main theme plays before cutting to commercial
anyway that comic is finally up and you can get it (fo’ free (srsly, the payment system isn’t entirely set up yet)) and you can get it at my gumroad i am sorry in advance it’s probably bad and weird
Song: There Is Power in a Union.
Artist: Billy Bragg.
Album: Talking With the Taxman About Poetry.
COMICS DROPPAGE IMMINENT
Assuming everything goes well, the comic that I’ve been working on for the past forever should be up and ready for general consumption (in tasty, tasty .pdf format that I think should be compatible with most e-readers) at some point within the next 24 hours
I WILL TELL YOU WHEN IT’S OUT AND IT WILL BE AWESOME
Tim “Six Californias” Draper introduces new ballot proposal to rename Labor Day “Entrepreneurs, C-Level Executives, and Investors Appreciation Day”
JUST LEARNED HOW TO MAKE AND USE AUTOMATED SCRIPTS IN PHOTOSHOP AND A+ WOULD RECOMMEND MY LIFE IS NOW AT LEAST 30% BETTER FOR IT
"welcome to my café, Snac DeMarco"
‘Men get raped and molested,’ should be a whole sentence. If you have to tack on the word ‘too,’ then you’re using the experience of male victims to silence females instead of giving them their own space.
Not sure if I’ve reblogged this before but it always bears repeating.
If the only time you talk about male rape survivors is when you are interrupting women and non-binary people talking about sexual assault statistics and their own experiences, don’t pretend you give a shit about male rape survivors.
ugh why are people following my “professional” portfolio blog, but really the bigger question is why did i think it was a good decision to use tumblr as a platform/host for my “professional” portfolio??